I Fly to Thee

Today begins a week of trials in my life and I am all but thrilled.  I have much riding on my performance this week and the rest of the semester. My future, and that of my little family, seems to hang in the balance of numbers and papers and letters. I feel responsible to perform well knowing that my husband has put his life on hold for me to reach for my dreams. That the nights I spend at the library have been worth something. That the times I have neglected to call or visit friends and family have not been in vain.

The next step of my journey is clearly before me, and yet I feel dismayed and unprepared.

I have to keep reminding myself that I chose this path. That my husband, family and friends are all cheering for me and are willingly walking this journey with me. I have to remind myself that I am worthy of trying.

Despite the anxiety, the fact that my stomach is constantly in knots, my kidneys hurting (weird!), that I hardly sleep anymore, and have doubt and guilt hanging over my head every day of the week...I can take comfort (when I remember to) in Christ. More than any other person He knows exactly what pressures I am feeling and the deadlines I am under. I know that He is listening when I pull into my apartment complex at 2am after a night of work and cannot help but cry because I have not finished everything I needed to.

Yet, I know that my present circumstances are temporary and that He is constant.   Only in Him am I able to have perspective.

Most days, I feel like this....