Wednesday, November 21, 2012


The GRE is over, and by the way, it went just fine! I got the scores I need for Ph.D applications, but something funny happened. During the math sections I experienced a new sensation. My brain rebelled, flat out rebelled.

I realized that I am a 25 year old woman and I do NOT need to know how to calculate slope, or volume, or anything of that nature anymore. My brain refused. For the first time in my life I was able to say "I do not need to know this to be a successful human being."I will do it for now, on this test, but never again. I figure that since I can balance my checkbook, use fractions for cooking (when necessary), and can calculate my GPA or test scores...I really will be just fine in life. Sorry, every math teacher I have ever cannot make me do this bullshit anymore. Math is gross.

In other news from last week, my car got dinged in the Starbucks parking lot. It wasn't bad, my bumper just got scratched from where someone backed into me. Nothing some Turtlewax can't fix. I think it is funny that none of the dings or scratches on my car have actually been caused by me.

Now that the GRE is over I have to get my butt back in gear for the rest of the semester! I turned in my Master's candidacy forms yesterday! This means that I am officially on the roster to graduate with a Master's degree in art history! I cannot believe this is already happening. These will have been the shortest two years of my life!

At the moment we are prepping for celebrating Thanksgiving in Tulsa with our families! Which means pumpkin bread is baking, dutch over bread is rising, and butter is being churned. I am so excited to see everyone!

So many things on the to-do list today, but they are all blessings.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Red Bandana

Thanks to icons like Rosie the Riveter, I have always, always wanted to be able to put my hair up in a cute red bandana. However, as much as I try and no matter how many tutorials I watch, I have never been able to to make it look right!

Really, Rosie? Can I rock your fantastic 'do??
If I leave my hair down and try to tie the bandana around my head - my hair pushes out weird in the back. If I try to put my hair up and then wrap the bandana around my head (a la the original Rosie look) - my head suddenly looks super tiny and strange.

I am dismayed. Who would think that a piece of 12"x12" cloth would be so much trouble!

Has anyone been able to do this that could help me? I have probably watched this video a million times.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Game Faces and A Bit of Silliness

My best 'Fake-It-'Til-You-Make-It face': Trying to stay optimistic (with lots of caffeine) while I prep for the GRE, work on a book review, write the final draft of my thesis proposal, outline my medieval history of science paper, and fill out online Ph.D applications

Ah, who am I kidding...

This owl's coffee face is way more awesome than mine! 
Fierce Owl for the win. 

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Dry Cold

I love the dry cold. I love being able to smell distant snow on the breeze of a silent night. I imagine that I can hear the gentle crackle of a wood fire and smell its charring. The sound of leaves blowing across the pavement - skit-scurrying.

There is peace in winter. When nature sleeps, and for a time, forgets that it will be reborn in the spring.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

I Fly to Thee

Today begins a week of trials in my life and I am all but thrilled.  I have much riding on my performance this week and the rest of the semester. My future, and that of my little family, seems to hang in the balance of numbers and papers and letters. I feel responsible to perform well knowing that my husband has put his life on hold for me to reach for my dreams. That the nights I spend at the library have been worth something. That the times I have neglected to call or visit friends and family have not been in vain.

The next step of my journey is clearly before me, and yet I feel dismayed and unprepared.

I have to keep reminding myself that I chose this path. That my husband, family and friends are all cheering for me and are willingly walking this journey with me. I have to remind myself that I am worthy of trying.

Despite the anxiety, the fact that my stomach is constantly in knots, my kidneys hurting (weird!), that I hardly sleep anymore, and have doubt and guilt hanging over my head every day of the week...I can take comfort (when I remember to) in Christ. More than any other person He knows exactly what pressures I am feeling and the deadlines I am under. I know that He is listening when I pull into my apartment complex at 2am after a night of work and cannot help but cry because I have not finished everything I needed to.

Yet, I know that my present circumstances are temporary and that He is constant.   Only in Him am I able to have perspective.

Most days, I feel like this....

Friday, November 9, 2012

Pondering the Poem

The Convert 

After one moment when I bowed my head
And the whole world turned over and came upright,
And I came out where the old road shone white,
I walked the ways and heard what all men said,
Forests of tongues, like autumn leaves unshed,
Being not unlovable but strange and light;
Old riddles and new creeds, not in despite
But softly, as men smile about the dead.

The sages have a hundred maps to give
That trace their crawling cosmos like a tree,
They rattle reason out through many a sieve
That stores the sand and lets the gold go free:
And all these things are less than dust to me
Because my name is Lazarus and I live.

--G. K. Chesterton

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Blustery Business

I wish I could say that it has been business as usual here, and in a way it has - just a lot more of the usual.

I recently found out that I have to retake the GRE because several of the schools I am applying to have raised their scores for admission. The academic market is competitive and this is just another bump in the road. The really horrible part of this though, is that I have to take the GRE by Nov 16th for it to count towards my Ph.D applications. I am on a very strict work schedule that if I can stick to it, I will manage to get everything done. I feel more than ever at this moment that my life is in God's hands. I am so blessed that I that support network that I do.

The weather has turned blustery and cool and Grant has been keeping us stocked up on delicious chili. I spend the mornings with a cup of hot coffee in my hands and my books spread on the table before me.
The cats and Ginger have been extra cuddly as if they know that the seasons are changing. 

Tonight I have been listening to a combination of Indigo Girls and Greek Orthodox church music, for some reason it seems like the perfect combination while I read about medieval cosmology.